Monday, March 20, 2017

I Basically Drove to Austin on a Tiny Tractor

Ummmm, okay so that title may be a bit of an exaggeration, but let me explain.  This past Thursday my husband and I completed our first round of yard work at our new home.  When we purchased the home, the previous owner left the riding lawn mower.  This is what I refer to as my tiny tractor.  It's even a John Deere! Lol We really need a real tractor for much of the back portion of the property, but as of right now, we only have smaller lawn equipment.  I braced myself, knowing full well that this was going to be a long process.  I dressed in a long, white sleeved t-shirt, black sweat pants, my trusty, camo boots (pants tucked in of course), and a ball cap.  I wanted to make sure those mosquitos knew who was boss!  I immediately jumped on my "tiny tractor" while my husband ran between the regular push mower, line trimmer (that is a really big weed eater), small weed eater, and backpack sprayer for weeds. AND..... we got it done in record time... 5 hours 41 minutes....(yes, that one minute matters). OH. MY. WORD! WHAT IN THE WORLD?! GOOD GRAVY! That wasn't even all 7.85 acres!  WHAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Now if you have never been on a tiny tractor while mowing uneven ground, you may not realize what type of ride I endured.  Here are some of the thoughts that ran through my mind as I dramatically bumpity bumped all over the place. 1.  It started with, "Oh goodness, this isn't has smooth and easy as I originally thought." 2.  "OH MY WORD!  My bladder is going to sustain permanent damage!" 3.  "It sure is a good thing I am done having babies!" 4.  "Chapstick is not a good idea."  I cannot even begin to tell you how much dirt and grime I had stuck to my gross! 5.  "I'M. NEVER. GETTING. OFF.  EVER. - This is some type of life sentence!" 6.  "I'll just wave to the kids as they leave for college..." 7.  "I want my mommy." 8.  "What did I do to deserve this?" 9.  "Is it even possible to hold your abs in on this thing?" 10.  "This is not making me feel attractive." 11.  "Oh crap! I just ran into the barn..."  I looked around to see if anyone witnessed that "little bump", and decided to play it off and just keep going.  I did fess up to it later, only to hear laughter from my husband.  Thankfully, things like that don't ruffle his feathers.  Speaking of feathers, the defective chickens still haven't laid eggs. At the end of the 5 hours and 41 minutes (that minute still matters), my  behind was completely numb.  The muscles in my back were on fire and waving the white flag of surrender.  We both looked at each other and laughed in complete disbelief of the events that played out during our little yard sessions. It was after 8 o'clock, we still had not made dinner, we were beyond dirty.  The kids were starting the circle us waiting for some type of meal.  When they began to grow a bit impatient, my husband came to my defense with, "Look at your mother, have you ever seen her look like this?"  I think he was beginning to think he broke me, that the country shook me violently for 5 hours and 41 minutes and then spit me out...into the dirt. We showered, ate delicious steak and potatoes (thank you, Honey) and then fell asleep on the couch. But those sunsets...totally worth it! Oh!!! So my point about driving to Austin on a tiny tractor.  I was on the riding lawn mower longer than it would take to drive from here to Austin.  :)  AND I received a honk and wave from two men in a pick up...LOL


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